Me, Myself, & I

For as long as I remember I have been an emotional being, maybe too emotional, who knows? I was the child constantly apologizing just to seek approval whether it was valid or not. As I have grown, not much has changed honestly. I am an approval seeking adult & I wish that I was not that way. My entire life I was raised that you take responsibility for you actions and honestly I think I went a little overboard. I found myself apologizing for my beliefs versus being able to stand up for them, as if having my own opinion and mind was not okay for me to have, as if no matter what I believed it was wrong. Now, I find myself in that situation but a little deeper. I am so emotional. If I take something you say over-personally, forgive me. The lack of control on my emotions that I have right now is so frustrating. So you ask, why don't you just take control? You clearly understand that you are being emotional and all I can say is that I wish it was that easy. It's the same knowing that I should want to get out of bed in the morning, or knowing that I need to be more motivated to do simple daily tasks, but it's not easy. I am tired & my body doesn't want to do those things. My body wants me to sleep, avoid. & cry. With a 6 year old this is hard to do. I could sit here and apologize, but I am not going to... I am going to ask for your understanding. You don't have to understand what I am going through because even when I try & explain it, it's hard for some people to understand. However I will ask for love, understanding, and patience. If I seem emotional & personally offended by something you say, it's because my emotions are so magnified. If I can sit, just have a little time alone, I can gain composer, and I appreciate if you could understand & forgive. I am slowly on my way to a better me, Please be patient.

Sincerely,
    Q