Shampoo Shopping

My daughter & I made our trip to Target today to do our weekly shopping & to pick up more shampoo for her because she ran out. I had seen a coupon for SoCozy hair care products. I am REALLY interested to try them but I left my coupon at home so I passed today. It runs $11.99 a bottle but the smell is amazing & it's a nice sized bottle for the better ingredients. I will be trying it next along with their line of other products! 

Today however we went with Double Trouble Galvin and Galvin Kids London. It ran $4.99 a bottle. We also bought the leave in conditioner, which was also $4.99. My daughter chose the Cool Cucumber fragrance. It's fresh & clean! Has a great smell, one of those smells that you can smell in someone's hair and you take a second glance. They offer other great smells for kids & they are organic! <3 p="">

After I try both products, I will let y'all know which one I prefer! 

Overwhelmed

The only word that comes to mind. The only thing that I seem to be able to focus on... overwhelmed. I had a doctor and dentist appointment today. Ugh (sigh). I have this horrible habit of trying to swallow the entire elephant instead of bite by bite. All I can think about the big picture. I have figured out why I am a list maker however. It allows me to break everything down, task by task, item by item. I know people don't understand, because I have a hard time explaining it. I feel broken. So broken, so low that I am scared to even begin to repair. It's going to be hard & long, and I have no choice but to be strong, my daughter needs me. How can I be a mother if I am so low? I had probably 4 panic attacks today. I am a nervous wreck. I'm hoping after a good night's rest I will have a better day tomorrow. Need to make my list...

Tomorrow

So tomorrow is a busy day for me. I have an Endocrinologist appointment & a dentist appointment. Both I am very excited about and nervous about. I will be getting answers, put on medication, and start the long healing process after years of pain and sadness. It's such a bitter sweet feeling, but I still have butterflies.  My dentist appointment is a joy. I have two teeth that are really hurting.

I have a few other things on my mind. My daughter has a rash, an interesting rash. She is going to the allergist and dermatologist (again) on September 10. Next is to a GI pedi... ugh. I also have some other concerns and maybe it's my nerves but now I am watching her like a hawk to see if she is presenting any symptoms of what I have... Thyroid issues can happen as early as 6 years old? Seriously!

Just a little stressed!

Yves Saint Laurent #ToucheEclat

     I am a primer girl. I have big pores and uneven skin tone so it's been a life saver on more than one occasion. I recently tried Yves Saint Laurent Touche Eclat Blur Primer and I have to say this is a really fun primer. Because of the specks of gold in the primer it gives your skin a nice glow to it, very fresh faced, which is a look I totally love, all while hiding my uneven skin tone and pores. The great thing about this primer is that you can wear it alone, with a light powder, or a full face of make up and it looks great.
    As well as the primer I also tried the YSL Touche Eclat Blur Perfector! LOVE this! Transforms from balmy to powder on your face leaving you with this beautiful rose glow that compliments the gold flecks in the primer, making this the idea duo for a glowing fresh faced looked without a million different highlighters. Totally in love with this look! #YSLToucheEclat

You can purchase both products at Sephora.

I received the product to try.

Photo Contest

I would appreciate it if you would please vote for my daughter for the Picture People Photo contest! Click HERE to vote. Make sure that you not only like the photo but actually click the VOTE button!!

Thank you! Thank you!

Feeling more optimistic

I woke up this morning feeling more optimistic than I have in a long time. I have decided that I am going to simplify my life. I get stressed out pretty easily, that seems to be a symptom of Hashuimoto's but I have just decided whether it stresses me out or not, I am simplifying my life. I will post more tonight & maybe some pics! In the mean time, everyone have a great day!

Raising a 6 year old,who thinks that she is 15 years old. :)

My daughter Audrey is 6. Six years old going on 15 it seems. Recently she has been giving herself showers. She brushes her teeth, jumps in the shower, washes her body, hair, & face and manages to get out with out remnant of shampoo or conditioner in her hair. I asked her today if I could wash her hair & she was fine with that, but I have a feeling the last time I wash her hair is looming just around the corner. I love her spirit and independence but I miss my little girl, ya know, the one who needed my help in the shower or to get dressed or to brush her teeth & hair. Those are such precious times together, when we get the chance to talk. She is growing up so much!

Scared & optimistic

I'm terrified & maybe it seems silly but for YEARS I have had trouble with my weight. When I was 19 I was diagnosed with a Pituitary adenoma. I gained a lot of weight that year. Some told me that the adenoma had no affect on my weight while others would say that it would. It makes me sad still to this day, that some of the closest people around me made me feel horrible about myself. I was told I was called fatty behind my back & that I was just eating too much. For years I lived with shame. Finally I became numb to all the names and I started liking myself for who I was no matter what. Then I was diagnosed with Hashimotos. When I saw my doctor she told me that absolutely both the adenoma & Hashimotos affected my weight. Now I am scared. I had accepted that fact that I was over weight and I tried to love myself, and now I am being told that I will loose weight and start to have more control over my life, but looming in the back of my mind is the question,"But what if I don't?" I don't know fir sure & then will that give those people & their hurtful words and gossip more ammunition if I don't drop weight. This is what I know: I am sure that this is a process and that everything won't change over night but will there really be a change. I am so scared. I just want to be better.

It's beginning to look a lot like School

So for my daughter, first grade is just a week away. She is so excited to get back to school and see her friends. To save some money this year we kept the same back pack & lunch box we used last year. We got it at Pottery Barn Kids and let me tell you I am so PLEASED with the quality. It has been washed a handful of times and it still looks brand new.
As far as size it's the small back pack and it fits everything that she needs. It's not too heavy and it does not pull on her shoulders and back. Most importantly, she loves it.
Before school starts, I always make sure that my daughter has certain items in her back pack:

• Lip balm
• Travel Sized Tissues
• Hand Sanitizer - We picked up the new ones from Bath & Body Works - yummy
• A sweater
• $10 cash in $1 bills
• Hand Lotion - Also from Bath & Body Works - Audrey's essential of choice :)
• A few hair ties

What are some essentials that you include in your child's backpack?

It doesn't just affect your health

It makes me so angry. Hashimoto's doesn't just affect my health, it affects my life & all my relationships... it destroys them too. I have lost someone close to me because of Hashimoto's disease, from lack of understanding. It hurts. I am angry. I get so frustrated with myself and then depressed, but the problem with that is it only affects me, making life a little more difficult. Sometimes it's hard for people to understand what they don't know, what doesn't affect them directly. I just want to be my normal self again.

Hi.  My name is Hashimoto's,

 I'm an invisible autoimmune disease that attacks your thyroid gland causing you to become hypothyroid.

I am now velcroed to you for life.  If you have hypothyroidism, you probably have me. I am the number one cause of it in the U.S. and many other places around the world.

I'm so sneaky--I don't always show up in your blood work.

Others around you can't see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me.

I can attack you anywhere and any way I please.

I can cause severe pain or, if I'm in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.

Remember when you and energy ran around together and had fun?

I took energy from you, and gave you exhaustion. Try to have fun now.

I can take good sleep from you and in its place, give you brain fog and lack of concentration.

I can make you want to sleep 24/7, and I can also cause insomnia.

I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal.

I can also give you swollen hands and feet, swollen face and eyelids, swollen everything.

I can make you feel very anxious with panic attacks or very depressed.  I can also cause other mental health problems. You know crazy mood swings? That's me. Crying for no reason? Angry for no reason? That's probably me too.

I can make your hair fall out, become dry and brittle, cause acne, cause dry skin, the sky is the limit with me.

I can make you gain weight and no matter what you eat or how much you exercise, I can keep that weight on you. I can also make you lose weight. I don't discriminate.

Some of my other autoimmune disease friends often join me, giving you even more to deal with.

If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away from you. You didn't ask for me. I chose you for various reasons:

That virus or viruses you had that you never really recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma (I thrive on stress.) You may have a family history of me. Whatever the cause, I'm here to stay.

I hear you're going to see a doctor to try and get rid of me. That makes me laugh.  Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively.

You will be put on the wrong medication for you, pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants.

There are so many other ways I can make you sick and miserable, the list is endless - that high cholesterol, gall bladder issue, blood pressure issue, blood sugar issue, heart issue among others? That's probably me.

Can't get pregnant, or have had a miscarriage?

That's probably me too.

Shortness of breath or "air hunger?" Yep, probably me.

Liver enzymes elevated? Yep, probably me.

Teeth and gum problems? TMJ?

Hives? Yep, probably me.

I told you the list was endless. 

You may be given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away.

You'll be told to think positively, you'll be poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken seriously when you try to explain to the endless number of doctors you've seen, just how debilitating I am and how ill and exhausted you really feel.  In all probability you will get a referral from these 'understanding'  (clueless) doctors, to see a psychiatrist.

Your family, friends and co-workers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and just how debilitating I can be.

Some of them will say things like "Oh, you are just having a bad day" or "Well, remember, you can't do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago", not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago.

They'll  also say things like,  "if you just get up and move, get outside and do things, you'll feel better." They won't understand that I take away the 'gas' that powers your body and mind to ENABLE you to do those things.

Some will start talking behind your back, they'll call you a hypochondriac, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially if you are in the middle of a conversation with a "normal" person, and can't remember what you were going to say next. You'll be told things like, "Oh, my grandmother had that, and she's fine on her medication" when you desperately want to explain that I don't impose myself upon everyone in the exact same way, and just because that grandmother is fine on the medication SHE'S taking, doesn't mean it will work for you.

They will not understand that having this disease impacts your body from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, and that every cell and every body system and organ requires the proper amount and the right kind of of thyroid hormone medication for YOU.

Not what works for someone else.

The only place you will get the kind of support and understanding in dealing with me is with other people that have me. They are really the only ones who can truly understand.

I am Hashimoto's Disease.

Me, Myself, & I

For as long as I remember I have been an emotional being, maybe too emotional, who knows? I was the child constantly apologizing just to seek approval whether it was valid or not. As I have grown, not much has changed honestly. I am an approval seeking adult & I wish that I was not that way. My entire life I was raised that you take responsibility for you actions and honestly I think I went a little overboard. I found myself apologizing for my beliefs versus being able to stand up for them, as if having my own opinion and mind was not okay for me to have, as if no matter what I believed it was wrong. Now, I find myself in that situation but a little deeper. I am so emotional. If I take something you say over-personally, forgive me. The lack of control on my emotions that I have right now is so frustrating. So you ask, why don't you just take control? You clearly understand that you are being emotional and all I can say is that I wish it was that easy. It's the same knowing that I should want to get out of bed in the morning, or knowing that I need to be more motivated to do simple daily tasks, but it's not easy. I am tired & my body doesn't want to do those things. My body wants me to sleep, avoid. & cry. With a 6 year old this is hard to do. I could sit here and apologize, but I am not going to... I am going to ask for your understanding. You don't have to understand what I am going through because even when I try & explain it, it's hard for some people to understand. However I will ask for love, understanding, and patience. If I seem emotional & personally offended by something you say, it's because my emotions are so magnified. If I can sit, just have a little time alone, I can gain composer, and I appreciate if you could understand & forgive. I am slowly on my way to a better me, Please be patient.

Sincerely,
    Q

School Lunches

So with school right around the corner I decided to try the Rubbermaid Lunch box kids with refillable water bottles from Amazon. I am really excited to see how my daughter enjoys them. I almost bought her one last year but I just never got around to do it. It was definitely on our list of things to buy for school this year though. I am super excited to try them out! I also bought a Thermos brand Foogo, for soups during the cold weather! It says it will keep cold items for 7 hours & hot for 5 hours! Can't wait to see if it really works!

I'm so tired & sad

Today is such an emotional day for me & for many reasons. Some very personal reasons but others I am sure a lot of parents are feeling right now. My little girl is starting 1st grade and boy is it hard to transition back to work & her back to school. I wish that I wasn't so emotional. I am so tired and drained. I can't focus. Ugh.

#sotired #backtoschool

Hashimotos, Pituitary Adenoma, & a whole bunch of crap emotions

Let me start from the beginning: I have always been on the emotional side; quick to anger (that could quite possibly be because I am a red head), quick to cry, mood swings like crazy, & questioning my sanity for as long as I can remember. At 19 I was diagnosed with a pituitary adenoma and if you know anything about the pituitary, you know that it controls your hormones. I felt like I had some answers. I was then told that my weight gain and emotional outbursts had nothing to do with that and because it was told to me by people I trusted, I felt like I had failed, I am not sure at what but I just spiraled into this depression and tiredness. Many years and a few boyfriends later, I knew that I just wasn't normal. I thought it was me, that there was just something wrong with me and I was just going to have to find the "right person" who could understand all my faults and deal with my emotional baggage. Now I sit here at 31 years old. I am still a single mom to the most wonderful child in the world and I have now been diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease. I found a PA who took the time to take care of me and now I am on this road to getting better... hopefully. My appointment to see the endocrinologist is August 20. I have to admit, I am relieved and ready. Part of having Hashimoto's and probably an adenoma is exhaustion. To some it may seem like laziness, but I can promise you it's not. I could sleep ALL day and it sucks. I am an emotional wreck. I have no control over when I cry at all. I can be chill and the next minute fly off the handle. This is my life, my incredibly emotional life that I am trying to get back to some sort of normalcy. I hope that my experiences can help someone else who is like me, confused, emotional, drained, depressed. Walk with me, I am ready to start living my life.